Mona Lisa’s mother: After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us??
Famous mothers’ quotes
Mona Lisa’s mother: After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us??
Columbus’s mother: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written!
Michelangelo’s mother: Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
Napolean’s mother: All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.
Abraham Lincoln’s mother: Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like other kids?
Albert Einstein’s mother: But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something?
George Washington’s mother: The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!
Thomas Edison’s mother: Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and go to bed!?
The new thermos
A man walks into a store and saw a thermos. The clerk walks up to him and asks, “May I help you with anything?”
“Yeah! What is that?”
“That’s a thermos.”
“What’s it do?”
“It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!”
“I’ll take it.”
The next day the man goes to work carrying this thermos. His co-workers ask him, “What’s that?”
“It’s a thermos.”
“What’s it do?”
“It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!”
“So whatcha got in it?”
“Two popsicles and a cup of coffee.”
Birthday present for daughter
One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter’s birthday. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a shopping mall. Knowing that it was now or never, he pulled his car through three lanes of traffic, found a parking bay and ran into the mall.
After a frantic search, he found a toy store, went inside and attracted the attention of the shop assistant. When asked what he’d like, he simply said, “A Barbie Doll.”
The shop assistant looked at him in a condescending manner and asked, “So sir, which Barbie would that be?”
The man looked surprised so the assistant continued, “We have Barbie Goes To the Ball at $19.99, Barbie Goes Shopping at $19.99, Barbie Goes Clubbing at $19.99, Barbie Goes To The Gym at $19.99, Cyber Barbie at $19.99 and Divorced Barbie at $249.99.”
The man couldn’t help himself so he asked, “Why is Divorced Barbie $249.99 when all those other barbies are selling for $19.99?”
“Well sir, that’s quite obvious!” said the assistant.
“Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car and Ken’s furniture.”
