Recently, Pakistan held its sixth population census after a lapse of nearly two decades. The fact that there wasn’t any third-sex box in the form up until now speaks a great deal for the discrimination transgenders face in Pakistan.
COVER STORY
Recently, Pakistan held its sixth population census after a lapse of nearly two decades. The fact that there wasn’t any third-sex box in the form up until now speaks a great deal for the discrimination transgenders face in Pakistan. With Eid-ul-Fitr - a gift from Allah to the entire Muslim fraternity of the world - coming up, Us decided to talk to some trans people (renowned and not-so-known) to explore what the occasion means to them and how they join others in celebrating it.
Kami Sid
“Kami has always meant “celebration” for me; that’s why I always celebrate myself. Being a young transgender activist, I did a lot for my community, projecting them at different levels in both Pakistan and at international forums. For instance, there was this conference in Copenhagen where I was invited to speak in front of 25,000 people.”
Couple this with her being Pakistan’s first transgender model who is also working with parliamentarians on Sindh Protection Bill, she is doing a good job in breaking stereotypes and presenting a positive image of our country and transgender culture to everybody.
Every shopaholic’s dream-come-true
Kami is as cool as she appears to be. “I love to collect bags - mera room bags se bhara rehta hai - and I have this habit of buying clothes, too, whether I wear them or not.”
Not a 9-5 activist
Also, in contrast to several others, Kami chose not to live with her family. “I live independently; my home is not just a place where I live, it’s a social sector for the young transgender community to eat and stay for a while. I really wanted to do something for people like me; that’s why I came out of my closet. I’m an activist all the time be it two in the morning or four in the evening, I am always there for my people. And in our society that’s not possible if you are living in with your parents! I used to visit my parents’ home more often when I hadn’t started my career as model, but now it’s not possible.”
Tabdeli aa nahi rahi, tabdeeli agai hai
It takes one person, one gesture, one moment at a time to change anything. And Kami is taking control and ensuring things change. “I feel there is tolerance, and flexibility. But there is no acceptance. We need acceptance. So, I’m teaching my community about their rights and the laws of this country. My motive is to always encourage the young trans fellows to go back and complete their education. After completing their education, they can do whatever they want. “Education is the key to success”, right? It will help them to differentiate right from wrong. I am who I am because of my education and I’m still learning and educating myself.
“Obviously, family support system is very important within the hijra community. However, if you realize that the community itself is highly marginalized, and that an activist like myself could only provide for another’s meals and shelter for a day or two only, or at most refer them for a job, then you know you’ve got to manage everything on your own.”
Get a leg up (professionally)
While we feel transgenders are more inclined towards entertainment and fashion industry, Kami suggests otherwise. “Honestly speaking, there are trans genders who want to become teachers. Even Dawood Public School contacted me, saying they would like to hire competent transgenders as teachers. It’s all about opportunity. We really don’t want people to sympathize with us or sideline us. No, give us the opportunities and then see for yourselves what we can do.”
Of “blessed ramazans” and “joyous eids”
“I don’t let my busy schedule keep me from fasting. As for Eid, I visit my family (who live nearby) after offering my Eid prayers. All my friends gather around my place in the afternoon. Because I’m the leader, they call me “maa”. From where do I look like a maa? *laughs* It’s “Maa, give me eidi” or “Maa, give me some food”.
“The food varies from pakoray, fruit chaat and dahi baray to Sindhi biryani and sheer khurma. It all depends on my mood. If I don’t feel like making anything, I just ask my boyfriend to do so! He’s a chef you see so I have that advantage. I do miss kulfi on Eid from my childhood days, though.
“I was invited to eight or 10 Ramazan transmissions, but I refused because my mother didn’t allow me. I don’t like all those shows either with their hypocritical hosts. I’d rather invest that time in my Eid preparations and complete them before chaand raat.”
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Anaya Malik
“If you ask me, it’s not that much exciting because we live in our home and we don’t celebrate Eid as what we are. We celebrate it the same way as other members of our family do. Even though we don’t hide who we are, we continue to live as our families expect us to. It’s only when I meet all my trans friends in the evening that I am able to truly feel the excitement associated with this biggest festival of Muslims.”
A tale of lipsticks and nail polishes
An actor and stand-up comedian, Anaya shares her favourite Eid moment (which she fears will never come again): I was in sixth or seventh grade at that time. My childhood friend Sunniya (who is also a transgender) texted me early morning on the first day of Eid. She was going with her family to her grandmother’s home and she wanted me to tag along. The plan was to excuse ourselves early and then return to Sunniya’s house. Since everyone had gone out, we would be alone and have all the time and space to dress up. Everything went according to our plan: we left pretending we were going to watch movie, and came back to her house. We tried a lot of clothes, hairstyles, makeup till midnight. We knew we wouldn’t get this chance for the next two days. We even experimented with cooking that day for the first time in our lives. It was a biryani - or something like that. *laughs* It was a very good Eid.”
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Sumair Ali
“Whenever we talk about transgenders, the term, unfortunately, is specifically used in the context of trans woman. Trans men are often neglected. I’m the first person raising voice for trans men. Working with different organizations and as a freelance blogger has allowed me to talk about sexual and gender orientation, specifically about the issues of trans men including domestic violence, forced marriage, and harassment. While there are people appreciating you standing up for the oppressed ones in the society, being an activist can get you in trouble as well and you start getting threats all the time.”
There’s more to transgenders
than meets the eye
“I live with my family. My mother and siblings are supportive as far as my gender identity is concerned; my father has issues. But, I have to take care of my family, I have to make the decision knowing that what I do professionally is also going to affect my family - just like they worry about my security.”
Despite the fact that Karachi is the metropolitan city most trans people shift to in search of a living, Sumair is of the opinion that the lack of opportunities is the core reason why we don’t see a lot of talented transgenders working. A graduate from Iqra University, he believes Karachi is more liberal as compared to other cities when it comes to taking in those disowned by family; hence, a greater visibility of transgenders here.
Accepted, understood and
comfortable in his own skin
“For me, Ramazan had been a very busy month in arranging food drives along with university students for the lesser privileged transgenders in areas like Landhi and Malir; some are old and have no support, no shelters or any other facility.
“Eid is a family affair. My father is the eldest one, which means all relatives come visit us all day long. Only when the last of them are gone do I get to spend some time with fellow transgenders. Only when I am with “my people” do I feel good. Kami is like a mother to us; she cooks, arranges this get-together and invites all of us, and we have fun. This going out with friends is important, because initially Eid was just another occasion where I had to wear dresses and accessories according to the assigned gender; now, at least I’m making happy memories.”
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Heera
I live with my fellow transgenders. On chand raat, I get me hair and facial done. Who doesn’t want to look beautiful on Eid?
I attend Eid parties where I get a lot of money. And, yes, visting Guru on Eid is must! I get her sweets and a dress on this occasion. After all this, I leave for Loodhran where my family lives. My suitcase is filled with gifts for my siblings and parents who wait desperately for me at this time of year. Family is what brings me joy on this occasion.
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Aishwarya
I am known as one of the most active and lively transgenders in the community. I am also a makeup guru for my fellow transgenders! As I have mastered all the beauty hacks trending on the social networking sites, everybody comes to me for their makeover. At times it gets tiring, but I really enjoy it; more importantly, this gives meaning to my life.
Bangles and bindi are must accessories for me on Eid. I can’t imagine my Eid without Guru, gossips, music, dance and sheer khorma! This year, I have bought a glittery saari to shock my friends!
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Laila
I celebrate Eid with my fellow transgenders and Guru. I wake up early in the morning, put on my best clothes and do makeup. Then, other transgenders from the neighbourhood come to meet us and have kheer with us; Guru cooks the kheer and distributes eidi.
In the evening, we go out to have chai and paratha or just stay at home, listen to songs and dance.
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Noorjahan
Eid is spent with Guru and other fellow transgenders. In the morning, I put on men-style kameez shalwar and go out for Eid prayers.
We hang out in a park or just go visit other community members; we share sweets with other and decorate our hands with henna. And of course, we wear a lot of makeup and dress in glittery and festive clothes. And, Eid is incomplete without eidi; fun part is in pestering others for the crisp notes. Even if you fail to get it, you enjoy teasing them.
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Sapna
I don’t feel like celebrating Eid because I really miss my family on this day. Even when my friends are at my place, I feel alone.
Chaad raat is hectic; all the community members come to me for getting beauty services and I don’t have a single minute for myself.
On the day of Eid, I go to wish my Guru. I hang out with my friends, eat biryani and have cold drinks. In the evening, Guru arranges a music party; but, seriously, I don’t really enjoy it. I miss my family and I just want to be with them. That’s why Eid feels like a burden.
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Aarzo
I don’t feel like celebrating Eid because it evokes a horrible memory. It was around Eid when my father disowned me after learning about who I was.
I sit alone in one corner where no one disturbs me but I do dress up for Eid just because Guru wants me to. Eid is difficult for me.
Additional information by Maheen Aziz
Shoaib Siddiqui, the then Commissioner Karachi, saw to it that their issues were discussed at the Commissioner Office. Mr. Siddiqui, who is now Federal Secretary Planning and Development in Islamabad, also appointed transgenders in mainstream jobs, including at social welfare department and cantonment board. This wasn’t a biased decision; according to Mr. Siddiqui, “most of them are highly qualified individuals holding a Masters or Doctors degree.”
