At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs Rowland?”
The old lady remembers everything
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs Rowland?”
“Of course, I know you, Mr Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to confess that I am very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife repeatedly, you gossip about your clients. Of course, I know you!”
Speechless by the unexpected answer, the lawyer points with his finger on the other side of the court room and says: “Do you know the defense lawyer?”
“Oh, yes! I know Mr Soft as well. I was holding him in my arms when he was a baby, and I can say that I am disappointed in him, too. He’s a gamester. He finds it hard to develop a normal relationship with anyone and he is one of the worst lawyers of our town!”
At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: “If any of you asks if she knows me, you’re ruined!”
Cooperation
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is and what a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand what matters is that we win and lose together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a worthless idiot?’’
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach.
“Now go over there and explain all that to your parents.”
Best friends forever
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
