MANAGEMENT
In spite of the fact, that I have been writing this column for close to three years, dear reader, you got attracted to read this piece, in view of its, ‘appealing title’. You have been lured. It is not about what you expected; you now stand beguiled by the title. Indeed, I wish to write this essay on love and affection at work place. But this ‘love’ is not the debased everyday meaning attached to it by its ruthless misuse. It is about the sublime nature of love, with all its purity is enshrined by destiny within our bosoms. Love that provokes sentiments and emotions of care, concern and affection. So it is not about the ‘Romeo’ who lurks in the corporate corridor or even the ‘Juliet’ who sits to 
watch innocently the many overtures made. If it is a disappointment, sorry!
Life is led with conditionality. Most often these are preconditions. We are promised in our younger ages, reward, only if we do well in examinations at school, college and universities. Later, we arrive in our careers at the doorstep of monetary rewards, if assigned budgets would be achieved. There is always a quid pro quo. A trade off. To love ie show compassion affection, care and concern, the ‘trade-off’ is never a consideration. To undertake love in its purest manifestations we are inspired by mere pleasure it gives of an enduring nature.
Which one amongst us has forgotten the smallest and the shortest compliments we receive at the hands of our parents? Compliments collected during childhood grow astronomically as we age. Just as small recognition is desired during childhood the need for it never outgrows. We all directly need it.
Emotional needs are prevalent in a heart, human or otherwise. Over time at our work stations, we become oblivious to this major requirement. Consequently, the relationship with the team or the workforce becomes extremely mechanical, expunged and devoid of feelings. Today even the proponents from across the Atlantic who promoted the idea of ‘lean and mean’ management process have begun to realise that there is in such thought a major amiss.
Read any recent book on management and you will find chapters devoted to humility interdependence, giving, grace, destiny, external and internal personality, etc. All non-quantifiable factors. Love is one of them.
Who yearns for love? Children, parents, co-workers, bosses, supervisors, the supervised- in fact with whomsoever we interact, they demand without expression of their dire need to be loved. Even a cat cosies up when you gently stroke and pat; the wild unruly horse with a pat on its back gets harnessed, an animalogist says, especially about mammals, that a cow or buffalo yields more milk, if it is patted with genuine affection. Any horse rider would confirm that if you mount with feelings of disgust the horse would throw you off its back. A sensitive animal the horse is; so what about the social animal; ie us – the people. Do we need affection?
Productivity increases manifold through an affectionate attitude. At the workplace, in the absence of an all encompassing atmosphere of care and concern, the worker will find himself lonely and lost. If in an organisation, a worker amidst a crowd suffers from pangs of loneliness, it is a sure case of a ruthless working place. The environment can break your backbone of hope and potential through crudity of response. Some colleagues will tear you into bits and pieces with their tongue lashing. They cause hurt; irreparable damage at times- their job is done because the one who faces this kind of attitude at work will surely find his efforts at excelling to go on a diminishing slide, he is likely to be filled with oceans of inadequacy- leading him to find that he is gripped with growing disinterestedness in his work and its quality. Self pity and lethargy will set in. This is then a perfect case for either voluntary attrition or even worse for becoming a dead asset on the organisation’s HR balance sheet. If only managers would recognise that love covers many infirmities.
We handle frustrations by either quitting or through a mature internal evaluation, ask what’s wrong with me? In doing so, a quick arrival at a point where you determine whether you need to change or whether you will change the environment is fundamentally crucial. To change can be an easier option against wanting to change others.
As supervisors adopt a posture of meet me, look at me, speak to me, write to me, smile at me, and then you as manager, be ready to be shocked by the response- your team with charged commitment will do, what it takes to do, what you ask and expect them to do ie achieving corporate objectives. Love sees no faults. In matters of dispute on the shop floor, we hear people proclaim, ‘I have forgiven him/her’, yes, it is good to do so but then isn’t it important, that the other disputant forgives you! Split the word, ‘forgiving’ between ‘for’ and ‘giving’. To pardon is to give. To forgive is a divine sentiment and hence must be used in everyday life. Do not carry small time or any other format of grudges to your eternal resting place- don’t just forgive; as bold managers ask for forgiveness, if the fault is with you. This paradigm shift of thought will usher a caring environment where love is thin, faults are thick.
As supervisors the endeavour has to make every member of the team feel important and wanted. By neglect we can easily way laid a good performer. The natural craving for love, attention and, care must remain recognised. Starving is bearable, but feelings of hunger and being famished for love, become over time deadly and intolerable. Love creates in a team, the feeling of ‘us’ without destroying the ‘me’.
An imaginary conversation is quoted in Robert Conklin’s book, ‘how to get people to do things’...
“what does she like about you asks the mother to her teenage son? She likes me and loves me, is the reason I like her. And what do you like about her, asks the mother, he replies, that she likes and loves me”. Clear and unconditional!
If to be loved is everything in life; why not at the workplace? A wife, a mother, to her children asks her husband if he would ever bring flowers and place it in a wreath on her grave...the husband sighs with agony, but filled with love, says, ‘every time I shall bring a bouquet of hundred blooming roses.’ The wife says, “Can you my dear husband instead bring me a rose everyday while I am alive!” Compare this with your annual increments, promotions and appraisals. Just apply the principle of a ‘rose each day’. Managers, appreciate often; thank, often. Do not assume that the need for appreciation does not exist. A smile of approval and appreciation does wonders.
Love is the touchstone of virtue. In our bigoted, narrow-minded and largely debased cultural setting, the word ‘love’ has loaded potential to be highly misunderstood; hence convey this sentiment through stamp of acceptance and approval of your team’s existence, their work and their important presence in the organisation. Love at work makes hardened managers gentle. Love without end has no end.
The writer is a senior banker and freelance columnist
