Confidential
Dear Disturbed Daughter,
Thanks for appreciating my column. I like getting feedback from my readers. I am glad that my advice helped you in solving your problems in the past. Your present dilemma is quite a complicated one as it is related to your mother’s extra-marital affair. I can understand the kind of mental agony you must be going through at the moment. It’s really difficult for a child to come to terms with the fact that her mother/father is emotionally attached to someone else. I must give credit to your father who, despite knowing everything, is still in this marriage for the sake of his kids. After reading your detailed letter about your mother’s behavior, I have come to this conclusion that your mom has already made up her mind and she wants a divorce. She is making all the fuss so that your father divorce her. I suggest you to talk to your father. Ask him to resolve the issue with your mom. If she does not want to reconcile or change then there will be no option left for him but to leave her. It’s the only way he could have mental peace. I hope she understands and that your family remains together. Good luck!
Should I leave M?
Salam Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I am studying in one of the prestigious colleges of Peshawar. I love the way you help people in solving their problems and I am sure you will help me, too, in resolving my issue. Actually I have been in love with a guy ‘M’ since I was in class nine. He also loves me. Now, the problem is M’s thinking. He does not believe in girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. According to him all relationships without nikkah are just time pass. He says that I am his world and I am his first and last love, and that’s why he does not want to treat me as his girlfriend. Guru, I am too young to think about marriage at this stage. My father wants me to become a doctor and I want the same. I want to marry M but only after completing my studies. But the problem is that M and his family don’t like professional women. And women are not allowed to work in his family once they are married. Guru, I am so confused. I love M but I cannot let go of my dream i.e becoming a doctor. Should I leave him and concentrate on my studies? This will be very difficult for me to do but what do you suggest?
S.K
Dear S.K,
You are thinking in the right direction. It’s better for you if you leave M now. He seems like a narrow-minded person who is totally against women’s education and professional growth. I don’t think you will ever be able to live with a conservative man. In any case, you are too young to indulge in a serious relationship. Try to forget about M and concentrate on your studies. I know it won’t be easy for you but then it’s not impossible either. You are talented and you should strive hard to pursue your dream. Good luck!
She is like a wind
Dear Guru,
I have been reading your segment for a long time. I love the way you solve problems. I am a19-year-old boy and I am an MBBS student. Actually I am in love with my class fellow ‘A’. She is very attractive and intelligent. However, she is quite religious so I have kept my feelings to myself. She likes to keep to herself and does not intermingle much. She is like a wind that no one can capture. She is unaware of my emotions and she treats me only as a class fellow. Guru, I want to disclose my feelings to her, but am very afraid. What if she rejects me? I am so confused.
Doctor in Love
Dear Doctor in Love,
If you really like her, then go and reveal your feelings. If worse comes to worst, she will reject you; she will not kill you. You guys are acquaintances already and there’s a possibility that when you offer her your friendship, she wouldn’t mind befriending you. It all depends. Instead of living in doubt or beating about the bush, it’s better if you simply go and talk to her. At least, you will get to know where you stand. So, be bold and get out of your confusion. Good luck!