COMIC RELIEF

Never be so generous

An airman finds a barber shop near the base and goes inside for a haircut. After getting a nice, short flat-top, the airman asks how much he should pay. “No charge, son!” replies the barber, “your dedication and sacrifice in the service of our nation is payment enough.”

The next day, as he opens the shop, the barber finds a squadron T-shirt and a thank-you note left by his customer.

Later that day, a staff sergeant comes in, asking the barber to take a little bit off the sides. When the haircut is complete and the NCO reaches for his wallet, the barber again says: “No charge, sergeant! Your dedication and sacrifice in the service of our nation is payment enough.”

The next day, as he opens the shop, he is pleased to find an Air Force hat and a squadron coin by the door, with a thank-you note.

Later that day, a colonel comes in, asking if the barber can do something to cover his bald spot. The barber obliges, and when it comes time to pay, he again says: “No charge, sir! Your dedication and sacrifice in the service of our nation is payment enough.”

The barber comes to work the next day and finds on his doorstep... three more Air Force colonels.

New Year’s resolutions

for internet junkies

• I will try to figure out why I really need nine e-mail addresses.
• I resolve to work with neglected children - my own.
• I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and being on the phone at the same time with the same person.
• I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... okay, monthly then... or maybe...
• I will spend less than one hour a day on the internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.
• When I hear a funny joke, I will not reply, “LOL... LOL!”
• I will think of a password other than “password.”
• I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
• I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, offline work done, too!

 

The clever granny

A grandmother is giving directions to her grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

“You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I buzz you in. Come inside and elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push third floor. When you get out, I’m on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?”

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”

“What... You’re coming empty-handed?”

 

Compiled by Usama Rasheed