Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.
A disaster
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.
His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get it re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his chum and finds him playing tennis.
“Incredible,” says his friend. “Medical science is amazing!”
Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off.
Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get it re-attached.
The next day he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.
“Incredible,” says his friend. “Medical science is amazing!”
Well, another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head.
His friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his friend but can’t find him.
He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, “Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday.”
The doctor thinks for a minute and says, “Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.”
She makes the squad again
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and the other was a brunette.
After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted.
The blonde went to see if she had made it that night.
Once she found out she had made it, she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn’t answer, so the blonde just went back home.
The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores.
The blonde agrees and meets the brunette at the school.
The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both had made it.
When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, “Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!”
Fitness programme
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.
Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, “We apologise for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.”
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: “Thank you for participating in Delta’s physical fitness programme.”
