Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before take-off the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning.
Aircraft problems
Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before take-off the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning.
(P) Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
(M) Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(M) Something tightened in cockpit.
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(M) Evidence removed.
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(M) Volume set to more believable level.
(P) Number three engine missing.
(M) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
The Man
United fan scores
A teacher asks her students if they’re Manchester City fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. ‘Okay, Bobby! What team are you a fan of?’
‘Manchester United.’ ‘Why’s that?’
‘Well, my parents are both Man United fans, so I’m a Red Devil too!’
‘That’s not a good answer, Bobby! If your parents were both stupid, would you be stupid too?’‘No, that would make me a Man City fan!’
Little Johnny is a bully
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, ‘I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today.’
The first student raised her hand to volunteer. ‘Marcy,’ the teacher said. ‘You may go first.’
Marcy replied, ‘My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny.’
The teacher said, ‘Very nice, Marcy! Who wants to go next?’
Kevin stood up and announced, ‘My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie.’
‘Very good!’ the teacher said. Jeff was next, and he said, ‘My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no...’
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and think about it for a while.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement, hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next. Johnny said, ‘My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell accountant.’
