When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
A visit to the zoo
1) When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
2) The zookeeper always wants to take the rhino for a walk.
3) The lion in the cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King.
4) The alligator in the reptiles’ exhibit is nothing more than a mascot.
5) If you deposit 100 rupees, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you.
6) Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you’re placed in the tiger’s den.
7) The elephant appears to be two guys in a two-part elephant suit.
The evil doctor
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Help me, please! I have a knife in my back.”
The doctor looks at his watch and says, “Now is 2:20pm, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I’ve finished for today, and can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning at 8.”
“But I will be dead tomorrow morning. You must help me now.”
The doctor angrily says, “I explained to you gently that I’ve finished my shift for today, and that I can’t do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow.”
“But until tomorrow, I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back?”
The doctor, already exasperated, extracts the knife from the patient’s back, and puts it in his eye. “Now you can go to the ophthalmologist. He works till 3pm.”
You can go!
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100mph. He eventually realises he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behaviour, I’ll let you go.”
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, “My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!”
