Sam Skoronski (@SamSkoronski): I don't make the rules. Or follow them.
Rachel Lapides (@rachellapides): I'm looking for an insignificant other.
Neil Renic (@NC_Renic): A PhD is proof that time also flies when you are not having fun.
Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): Like my shower, I too have only two settings: glacier and Pompeii.
Krista Pacion (@kristabellerina): My toxic trait is using a small font I can barely see to prove I’m as young as I say I am.
Kat (@ollkorrect0): The most expensive clothing you'll ever wear is a hospital gown.
Charlie Alzamora (@chalzamora): Inventing a car that runs without wheels is a tireless pursuit.
Alice Mills (@millsalice144): When algebra teachers retire, how do they deal with the aftermath?
A group of doctors are out duck hunting when a bird appears.
The internist grabs his gun and says, “Could be a duck, rule out goose, rule out swan, rule out whooping crane,” but before he can shoot the bird, it flies away.
A second bird comes along and the family medicine doctor grabs his gun and says, “It looks like a duck, but killing it could disrupt the whole flock," and the bird flies off.
Another bird comes and the radiologist grabs some binoculars and says, “It looks like a duck, but clinical correlation is required,” and the bird flies away.
Again, a bird appears. This time, the surgeon grabs his gun, shoots it dead, and says, “Pathologist, go tell me if that is a duck.”
“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire