One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when he suddenly came across a magic lamp. Since he’d heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out.
As you wish!
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when he suddenly came across a magic lamp. Since he’d heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise, out popped a genie. The genie asked, as they do, “What is your first wish?” The government worker thought about it for a second, and then replied, “I would like to be rich!” So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn’t even have to ask for number two before he said, “My second wish is to be on an island with a beautiful wife.” And poof, he was there. Then the government worker decided on his third wish, “I don’t want to do any work ever again!” And poof, he was back in his office.
I’ll be Bach
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.
“Who do you want to play?” Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
“I’ve always been a big fan of Chopin,” said Bruce. “I’ll play him.”
“And you, Sylvester?” asked Spielberg.
“Mozart’s the one for me!” said Sly.
“And what about you?” Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“I’ll be Bach,” said Arnie.
Caught in his own trap
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells the shepherd: “I will bet you 100Û against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet.
“973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. “Okay, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.”
The man picks one up and begins to walk away.
“Wait! Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.”
The man says, “Sure.”
“You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd.
“You are exactly right!” responds the man, “but tell me, how did you deduce that?”
“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down the dog and I will tell you.”
