Terri Paella Piñata (@terrip38): To the scammer who sent the phishing email with the invitation to join a Zoom meeting, as if!
* Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): Them: Good morning
Me: Where?
* Alexis Gay (@yayalexisgay): The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.
* Terri Paella Piñata (@terrip38): To the scammer who sent the phishing email with the invitation to join a Zoom meeting, as if!
* Brock (@Brock_Teee): I work out on an empty stomach sometimes so I can have a healthy amount of near-death experiences.
* Ousa Medusa (@MedusaOusa): Do you stay in your parked car until the song ends, or are you a monster?
* Ella (@blondehotcoffee): I miss the ‘90s (not being alive).
* Peter (@arabatman_): Nothing like going to bed after a long day of ruining your life.
Q: What has no fingers but lots of rings?
A: A tree.
Q: Why are trees so tall and thin?
A: They only eat light.
Q: Why do trees have so many friends?
A: They branch out.
Q: What did one cactus say to the other cactus?
A: “You’re looking sharp!”
Q: How did the plant whistle?
A: By using its tulips.
Q: How do plants keep things under control?
A: They weed out unnecessary drama and ask troublemakers to leaf.
“Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.” – John Wayne
A magician performs on a cruise ship, and since the audience is different each week, he simply performs the same act over and over again. The captain of the ship has a parrot who starts attending the shows.
The parrot soon starts to work out the tricks and shouts out the trick’s solution to the audience. “The rabbit is under the hat”; “there is a hole in the ring”; “the flowers are under the table”. The audience love the parrot, but the magician is furious.
He tries to come up with new and increasingly elaborate tricks but eventually the parrot always works them out.
One night there is a terrible storm. The ship sinks and the magician and parrot end up on a lifeboat together. For days they sit in silence on the little lifeboat, staring at each other with hate but not uttering a single word, until the parrot finally turns to the magician and says “All right, I give up, where did you hide the ship?”
