I’m starting to feel very anxious about my future. What should I do to overcome this problem?
Struggling with social media addiction
Dear Guru,
I am a 16-year-old student in the 10th grade, and my dream is to become a doctor in the future. However, I feel there are certain things holding me back from achieving my goals. The biggest obstacle is my addiction to social media and my mobile phone. I believe that if I fail to become successful in life, social media and mobile distractions will play a huge role in that failure. I’ve tried several times to get rid of this habit, but I always end up failing. I’m starting to feel very anxious about my future. What should I do to overcome this problem?
Anxious Student
Dear Anxious Student,
Recognizing the issue is the first crucial step towards solving it, and you’ve already taken that step. Social media addiction is something many people struggle with, especially young students like yourself. With a bit of discipline, you can definitely overcome this challenge.
First of all, set clear goals for yourself. You already have a big goal - becoming a doctor – and need to break that down into smaller, achievable goals. For example, focus on improving your grades by completing a certain number of study hours each day, or reading specific subjects. One of the best ways of limiting phone usage is to create a daily schedule that includes study time, breaks, and specific times when you allow yourself to check social media. Use apps that track or limit screen time, so you don’t spend more time online than necessary. Try to keep your cell phone in a different room or at least out of sight. This reduces the temptation to check it.
Every time you feel the urge to check social media, do something else that helps you relax but doesn’t distract you from your goals. This could be reading, exercising, or practicing a hobby. Keeping yourself engaged in positive activities will help you build healthier habits.
It’s great that you are already thinking about how to improve yourself. With time and effort, you can build better habits and focus on what truly matters - your future. Stay determined, and don’t let distractions keep you from achieving your dreams!
Good luck!
I cannot stop loving her
Dear Guru,
I am facing a problem. We went to the same school and university and were so close that we didn’t need other friends. I don’t know when my feelings for her changed, and I simply assumed that just as I had fallen in love with her, she must have fallen in love with me as well. I had decided to propose to her after graduating with my MS, but I got the shock of my life when she told me she had become engaged to the son of her father’s friend. I feel heartbroken and depressed, Guru. I cannot believe she deceived me. I simply cannot stop loving her, and I can’t seem to concentrate on my work. I’ve lost all my will to move forward after this heartbreak. Since she left me, life has become meaningless. I’m so upset that I can’t focus on my studies, and this is my final semester. Please help.
Heartbroken and Depressed
Dear Heartbroken and Depressed,
I'm really sorry you're going through this. It is incredibly painful to lose someone you’ve been so close to for so long, especially when you believed she might have shared the same feelings. It’s natural to feel heartbroken and betrayed, but I want you to know that this situation doesn’t mean your life has lost meaning, even if it feels that way right now.
What you're experiencing is a form of grief over the future you imagined. It’s important to allow yourself to feel these emotions rather than trying to suppress them. Grief takes time; you may feel overwhelmed now, but your ability to process and cope with these emotions will grow.
One of the hardest parts about unrequited love is realizing that feelings aren’t always mutual, and that doesn’t mean she deceived you intentionally. She may have cared for you deeply as a friend, but her engagement reflects her own choices, which don’t take away from the bond you shared.
As for the difficulty in concentrating on your studies, it’s understandable. Heartbreak can drain your motivation but you’ve worked hard to get to this final semester, and finishing your MS is something that will benefit your future. Right now, it might help to break things down into smaller steps so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Focus on one assignment or one task at a time, rather than the whole semester. Take it day by day. With time, you’ll rediscover your sense of purpose and slowly start moving forward again. You deserve happiness, and I am sure you will find it with someone who will reciprocate your feelings.
Good luck
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