I see other girls in the office interacting confidently with everyone, and feel miserable. Please tell me how to build my confidence around men....
I feel shy around guys
Dear Guru,
I am a 24-year-old girl. I belong to a middle-class family. I’ve been raised in a conservative environment where mingling with men was not encouraged, even within the family. Currently, I am working in a private organization. While I excel at my job, I struggle when it comes to interacting with male colleagues. Now, in my professional life, this kind of interaction is unavoidable.
The problem is that I become extremely uncomfortable whenever I have to talk to my male colleagues. I end up feeling and looking nervous and scared. I see other girls in the office interacting confidently with everyone, and feel miserable. Please tell me how to build my confidence around men.
Scared and Shy
Dear Scared and Shy,
I can understand your frustration with this situation. It’s important to remember that shyness, especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite gender, is a common challenge - especially for someone raised in a conservative environment. Growing up in such a setting has likely reinforced your discomfort, so it's completely understandable that you find yourself feeling awkward in these situations. However, with time, practice, and a shift in mindset, you can absolutely overcome this.
I have a few suggestions that might help. One effective technique is to practice speaking in front of a mirror. Stand tall, make eye contact with yourself, and rehearse conversations you might have with your colleagues. Pay attention to your body language - relax your shoulders, maintain a calm posture, and practice speaking clearly and confidently. Doing this regularly will help reduce your anxiety.
Another thing to remember is that men are just like you - colleagues who are there to work and not people to fear. Try to view your male colleagues as you would any other co-worker. Avoid overthinking the situation, and remind yourself that you are equal to them in every way. This mindset shift can help reduce the pressure you put on yourself.
Try having small, casual interactions. It could be something as simple as saying "good morning" or commenting on work-related matters. Gradually, you’ll feel more comfortable, and those small steps will lead to more confident conversations.
Instead of focusing on what others might think of you, focus on building self-confidence. It may also help to have positive role models. Read books or articles about gaining confidence, and look up tips online about improving your communication skills.
Above all, understand that it’s okay to feel nervous, but don’t let that stop you from improving. Don’t compare yourself to others in the office and focus on your own progress.
Good luck
I want to lose weight
Dear Guru,
I am a 15-year-old boy. I love eating, especially burgers and pizza. I have put on a lot of weight and want to lose it. Please guide me.
Fat Boy
Dear Boy,
It's great that you're thinking about your health! To lose weight, you'll need a balanced approach that includes both healthier eating habits and regular physical activity. Start by cutting back on junk food like burgers and pizza, and try to eat more nutritious meals that include fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. You don’t have to give up your favorite foods completely - just enjoy them in moderation. Incorporate some form of exercise into your daily routine, whether it's walking, jogging, or playing a sport you enjoy. Stay consistent, drink plenty of water, and be patient with yourself - healthy weight loss takes time.
Good luck!
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