On October 28, 2023, millions of Friends fans heard the devastating news of the death of actor Matthew Perry...
BOOK REVIEW
Book: Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
Author: Mathew Perry
Reviewed by: Lubna Jerar Naqvi
On October 28, 2023, millions of Friends fans heard the devastating news of the death of actor Matthew Perry.
In case you don’t know Chandler Bing, he is one of the six beloved characters from the famous and popular 90s sitcom Friends, which left a legacy of fun and love. Bing was an integral part of the show, and he will forever remain in our minds through his one-liners and sarcasm, which have become memes in the digital era.
Actor and comedian Matthew Perry played Chandler Bing, making him one of the most vital characters on the show. Perry’s quick humor and wonderful comic timing helped make Chandler a very interesting character. Although Chandler takes himself seriously, he uses his sarcasm and jokes in the oddest circumstances.
After Perry’s passing, fans were hit by grief over his and Chandler’s death, with most finding solace in watching reruns of Friends or reading his memoir, aptly titled Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing. The book was released about a year before Perry passed away. The timing was perfect as it provided some closure to his millions of fans worldwide.
It was evident that Matthew Perry was a very creative man and a brilliant comedian. He infused light humor and comic portrayals into serious issues he faced. The reader experiences his turbulent life from his point of view, feeling a mix of emotions as he struggles with his childhood, career, and addiction.
The memoirs are insightful, nostalgic, and quite funny, even though they touch on many serious issues, such as life-threatening surgeries and addiction. Interestingly, Perry didn’t hold anything back and openly discussed what he experienced in his life, giving all the details—the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
Apart from honestly speaking about his addiction and relapses and visits to rehabs, he is open about other aspects of his life as well, such as his parents’ marriage, how he suffered as a child, and how he found ways to cope with childhood issues using comedy as his defense.
He speaks about his relationship with his father, actor and model John Bennet Perry. The older Perry was famous as the ‘Old Spice’ man and had a successful career. Matthew spoke about how he first lived in Canada and then moved to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and his struggles as an actor. He also mentioned how he almost didn’t go for the Friends audition and how his life would have been different working on a less successful sitcom.
This memoir is a rollercoaster of a life story that saves the reader from complete anguish, knowing that Matthew Perry made it as Chandler. Perry proves to be a good storyteller as he pens his hidden emotions, drawing the reader into the journey. You can almost feel the raw emotions of an angry young Perry when he is living in Canada with his mother’s family.
He longed to be with his famous father in Hollywood and become a big actor. His first plane journey alone to Hollywood, and the loneliness and insecurity he felt as a child traveling alone, left an indelible mark on his personality, which he mentions many times in his memoir.
The book can be divided into two sections—the funny and lighthearted part that gives insights into Matthew Perry’s comic creativity, and the serious side that details the issues he faced in his life. It is almost as if he feels compelled to tell his life story without leaving anything out. He walks the reader through his near-death experiences and his repeated struggles to stay clean, only to relapse time and again.
Perry has woven his addiction throughout the book, making it heartbreaking to read about his horrifying struggles between addiction and rehabilitation. Every time the reader cheers his victories, he relapses. He seems intent on revealing the non-glamorous side of his life, sharing horrific details of his physical and mental conditions and the serious surgeries that almost killed him.
He speaks candidly about rehab and how he tried to use his fame and money to bypass the system, believing he was invincible. Perry’s memoirs offers a raw and unflinching look at the reality behind the public persona.
He references his addiction during his time on Friends, which makes it even sadder. He speaks about the phases of addiction and the changes he went through on screen. After reading the memoirs, watching the show brings the book to life as you can see how Perry’s appearance changes.
Many parts of the book are quite funny, almost as if Chandler himself has taken over the writing, making the reader laugh out loud. Perry takes you behind the scenes, explaining how some scenes were tweaked or how famous one-liners were created.
He talks about his crush on his co-star Jennifer Aniston and how awkward he felt around her. After reading this, watching him and Jennifer in the sitcom becomes even more interesting, though it’s hard to pinpoint his nervousness around her. The scenes they share look seamless and extremely funny; they are so good at bouncing jokes off each other.
Perry candidly discusses his relationships with various women, including famous ones, and how they changed him as a person and actor.
He details his experiences, highlighting his own mistakes and faults with ease, as if he wants to get everything off his chest to start anew.
This part of his book is quite compelling for those who followed Chandler’s life. It is heartbreaking to think he almost lost his career and life due to his inability to stop.
Perry also speaks about how he kept acquiring dangerous substances to feed his addiction, his time in rehab, and the painful surgery and aftermath that could break anyone. Interestingly, Perry acknowledges that his fame and money were not enough to save him from the threats of addiction. Instead, they helped trap him in constant substance abuse.
That he bounced back from life-threatening episodes was remarkable, but he didn’t make a big deal about his recovery, knowing the reality of relapse. Between the good and bad moments, he remembers everyone who was there for him and, more importantly, how badly he treated them. Perry wants to capture the essence of his human, regular side living on the fringes of his tremendous fame in his memoirs.
Reading his books after his passing makes you wonder how many shades of life he lived in his short time. It is sad to think that he was on the mend and wanted to help others with his experiences, but his life was cut too short.
Matthew Perry has left a treasure of memories through his sitcom, movies, and memoirs. He shall be missed. But really, could he have been more honest?
