She is very sweet and intelligent, and by waiting indefinitely I don’t want to lose her. Please guide me....
I want to marry my college friend
Dear Guru,
I have fallen in love with a girl in my college. I know we are too young for this, but can we really control our feelings? It happened when college re-opened. That day, both my friends and hers did not come to college. We just happened to sit at the same table in the college’s canteen. We chatted for some time and she offered to get me fries and I couldn’t say no. We stayed for the entire lunch time and became friends. I was not sure whether we would meet each other but she asked me for my cell number. We met now and then for a couple of months but ended up hanging out every day during lunch break. We talk about everything. We are apparently just best friends, but I am sure she likes me too and is developing feelings for me.
I want this to turn into a serious relationship and once we graduate, I want to tell my parents about our relationship as I am truly in love with this girl. How should I talk to them about this? Or should I talk to the girl first? My parents are friendly and open-minded, but I’m not sure how they will react to this.
Guru, I want to get engaged to her and then marry her after I complete my studies - and of course, get a job, too. She is very sweet and intelligent, and by waiting indefinitely I don’t want to lose her. Please guide me.
A guy in love
Choose your life’s partner carefully, as this very important decision has the ability to increase happiness or to bring upon misery into your life.
Dear Guy in Love,
At this point in your life, you should focus on building a good friendship with her only. Focus on learning more about her, meet her family and introduce her to your family. In short, learn about her as much as you can. Meeting someone in college is always nice. You only have beautiful conversations because life at this point in time is at its best. You are free of all the responsibilities and shackles of societal expectations. But in reality, relationships are way more complex than we think. So to really find out if you two are compatible with each other, engage in serious and meaningful conversations: talk about important values, family dynamics, kindness; share your family stories; rattle on about happiness, talk about food you all eat at home. Then you can ask her if she also feels the same about you. If she also likes you, let the family members of you both mingle.
Developing a strong friendship is very important before you both finally decide to get engaged. If your friendship thrives, you will not have to tell your parents anything, they will understand everything on their own.
Don’t rush; otherwise, you may regret it later in life as marriage is a very important and difficult decision. And don’t worry about losing her as the saying goes, what is meant to be yours will always find its way. One last thing: while you are developing friendship with your favourite friend, don’t lose sight of your career goals. Good education and a flourishing career contribute to a happy life. Best of Luck!
Confidential
Dear Tortured Soul,
You are not at fault at all; you were alone and had to do what you did to protect yourself, so if your step-mom’s brother was seriously wounded he brought it upon himself. That guy should be grateful you called for help instead of threatening you. I understand you were frightened at that time, but you should have told your father or your brother what really happened. Tell them you were scared that by telling the truth you would hurt your step-mom, but the guy is now trying to blackmail you and you have no other option other than to tell all. You are a brave girl so don’t let this guy’s threat unnerve you. Let your father and brother deal with him.
Good luck
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