I don’t like my mother anymore. She was very selfish and didn’t think about my father at all. I am not willing to forgive her because she hurt us all so much. I am very angry with her. What should I do?
My mother hurt us all
Dear Guru,
I am a 19-year-old guy. I am doing A Levels, and belong to a middle-class family. My father is a college teacher and he gives tuitions after college in our house to provide my younger brother and me with a decent living. We were a happy family till my mother’s sister came to live near our apartment. She has a big house and has a lavish lifestyle as my uncle works in Dubai. My mother became envious of my aunt and started pressurizing my father to earn more. My father obliged her and took more students in his tuition centre. As a result, he had to work from morning till 9 PM, as he taught groups of students in shifts. This routine was so stressful that two months back he had a heart attack. I told my mother that she was responsible for it, and she just cried.
My mother has realized her mistake and apologized to my father for her attitude, and like a true gentleman my father has forgiven her. He said that he was working so hard for the sake of his family, so we must not blame our mother. My mother is being extra sweet to all of us, and has said she wants to make up for her behaviour.
But, Guru, I don’t like my mother anymore. She was very selfish and didn’t think about my father at all. I am not willing to forgive her because she hurt us all so much. I am very angry with her. What should I do?
Hurt Son
Dear Hurt Son,
Your angst is understandable, but your mother has realised her mistake and wants to make up for it, so don’t you think she deserves a second chance? I don’t blame you for being upset with her but since she is your mother, she deserves your love and respect. Your father was the one who actually suffered and he forgiven your mother. As a son, it is not your place to bestow forgiveness on your mother.
Think about your father. If he is happy, you shouldn’t do anything to spoil his happiness and create actual stress for him to deal with. I advise you to accept And, accusing your mother of being responsible for your father’s heart attack is not fair. Heart related problems are often hereditary, and sometimes due to stress and lifestyle. Before holding your mother responsible for your father’s heart attack, did you ask his doctor what the cause was?
Think about your father. If he is happy, you shouldn’t do anything to spoil his happiness and create actual stress for him to deal with. I advise you to accept your mother’s change of heart and forget the past. You will realise you still love her.
Good luck!
