A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady’s cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak...
COMIC RELIEF
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Because his class was so bright!
Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils!
Q: Teacher: Didn’t I tell you to stand at the end of the line?
A: Student: I tried but there was someone already there!
Q: How is an English teacher like a judge?
A: They both give out sentences.
Q: Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?
A: Student: Not really.
Q: Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A: To test the water.
Q: Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?
A: Student: Big hands!
Q: Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at your friend’s exam?
A: Student: I hope you didn’t, either.
Q: Teacher: What is the shortest month?
A: Student: May, it only has three letters
A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady’s cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, ‘If this new vacuum doesn’t pick up every bit of dirt, I‘ll eat all the dirt.’
The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, ‘Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer: a spoon or a knife and fork?’
There are eleven people hanging on a rope that comes down from an airplane. Ten of them are blonde and one is brunette.
They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech ending with the words ‘I’ll get off’.
The blondes are all very moved by her speech and start clapping. Problem solved.
