Understanding emotions

COVER STORY

Have you ever wished you could switch off emotionally and not have to experience overwhelming confusing, distressing or painful emotions? Or, have you ever blocked out ‘difficult’ or ‘unwelcome’ emotions by binge-watching television, eating, smoking, using substances or self-harm? When our emotions threaten our stability and jeopardise our relationships or negatively affect our daily functioning, it is common for us to seek ways to get rid of those emotions. For example, we may deny them, block them out, disconnect from our bodies to stop feeling them or seek distractions in substances, activities or social media.

The catch is that when we avoid our emotions, they don’t actually ‘go away’. Instead, like unwanted items dumped in the corner of a room, they remain within us and continue to pile up as we continue to brush them aside. Even when we have pushed aside or avoided an emotion, it may unconsciously still drive our behaviour and our lives. Hence the adage, ‘the only way out is through’ holds true for our emotions.

Similarly, there may be pleasant emotions that we seek to re-experience or prolong. We might do this in healthy or adaptive ways such as exercising, listening to music, pursuing hobbies and creative activities or spending time with loved ones; we might also do this in unhealthy ways such as using substances, co-dependent behaviours and thrill-seeking through impulsive or dangerous means. Both extremes (denial and addictive pursuits) are ultimately self-damaging. Managing emotions requires that first we understand them.

What are emotions?

While there is no scientific consensus on an exact definition of emotions, by and large the word is taken to mean various mental states with characteristic thoughts, associated physical sensations, behaviours, specific inclinations and neurophysiological changes. In simpler words, emotions are states of mind with related thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ emotions. All emotions are important, and are better understood as pleasant or difficult.

Robert Plutchik, a prominent American psychological researcher, suggested that there are eight primary emotions that we are born with, and that other (secondary) emotions are combinations of these eight basic emotions: anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust and joy. According to Plutchik, these eight emotions are ‘primary’ because he believes they have an important role in human survival. For instance, someone who is unable to feel fear may not cross the road carefully; similarly, someone who can’t trust will have problems while interacting with people at home and work.

As per Plutchik’s theory, we might understand some of our everyday emotions as combinations of primary emotions:

* Trust + Joy = Love

* Sadness + Disgust = Remorse

* Fear + Surprise = Alarm

* Joy + Anticipation = Excitement/Optimism.

Seeing a loved one may evoke the emotion of love, with us feeling trusting and joyous towards that person, and thinking positive thoughts characterised by hope, with physical sensations such as warmth in our chest or butterflies in our stomach, and an inclination to spend time in their company. These mental experiences are correlated with activity in the brain.

Emotions and the brain

As the ‘seat of consciousness’, the brain’s functioning and activity is linked to all of our lived experiences. Contrary to the popular misconceptions, the brain, mind and body are not separate from one another. Each influences the others. What happens in our bodies influences our thoughts and emotions which influence brain activity, just as brain activity influences our bodies and our mental processes.

The human brain has two connected hemispheres with four lobes/regions (frontal, parietal, temporal and occipital). Both hemispheres play a role in processing emotions, with our right hemisphere focusing on how something feels, and our left hemisphere focusing on what something means.

Most of our emotional processing takes part in what is known as the ‘limbic system’ of the brain. The limbic system consists of structures in the brain such as the hippocampus (formation of memory and association of memories with our five senses), amygdala (storage and processing of emotional content, meaning and responses), thalamus (connecting different brain regions), hypothalamus (hormone production and regulation of thirst, hunger) and basal ganglia (reward processing, habit formation, memory and learning).

The limbic system functions by influencing two other systems: the endocrine system (release of hormones) and the autonomic nervous system (unconscious regulation of heart rate, digestion, breathing, etc.).

Our emotional states can be seen via brain imaging. For instance, studies have shown that fear is associated with more activity in the amygdalae; happiness with more activity through the thalamus; disgust with more activity in the basal ganglia; anger with more activity in the cortex; and sadness with more activity in the cerebellum and brainstem.

The value of emotions

Emotions are an invaluable resource and a fundamental part of our humanity. From pop culture such as The Vampire Diaries (switching off one’s humanity= switching off emotions) and the less well-known Equilibrium (emotions as both destruction and salvation) to historical literary movements such as Romanticism (feeling above cold rationality and conformity), there are a plethora of cultural and artistic appreciations of emotional experience.

Emotions as ‘Aliveness’

Emotions allow us to experience a range of different states which enrich our lives. Just like different flavours of food add to the pleasure of eating, different emotions also add to the variety and sense of having ‘lived’ life.

Emotions as the basis of pleasure and creativity

Without being able to feel anything, would we still enjoy music, relationships or art? Would we appreciate the moral, ethical or life dilemmas of characters in films and literature? Would we be drawn to creating sculptures, paintings or poetry? Emotions prompt us to experience pleasure as well as communicate our emotional states through art.

Emotions for motivation

Emotions influence us to pursue goals and aspire further in our lives.

Emotions for moral decision-making Emotions help us make moral decisions. A purely ‘rational’ perspective misses the nuances granted by emotional experience (for example, considering punishment for someone who stole a loaf of bread out of desperation to feed their family versus punishment for someone stealing out of greed).

Emotions to facilitate connection

Emotions allow us to empathise and thus develop supportive bonds with others in our lives. Emotional connection with others serves as a protective factor against psychological distress.

These are not the only functions of emotions, but these might be ones that we are most aware of in our daily lives.

Difficulties with emotions

In addition to ‘mood disorders’ such as depression or bipolar disorder, people may experience other emotional difficulties such as:

Alexithymia: an inability to identify and describe your own emotions and recognise and respond to the emotions of others. This might be caused by defense mechanisms (often unconscious psychological strategies to prevent pain) such as ‘dissociation’ (disconnecting from emotional experience), intellectualization (thinking about rather than feeling), isolation of affect (avoidance of emotion). Some research evidence suggests that alexithymia is more common in people who have experienced childhood trauma such as sexual abuse.

Intense emotions

Emotions experienced as overwhelming and unbearable, often in extremes; particularly despair or rage. This is usually a sign of difficulties in regulating emotions and self-soothing. It might be experienced in mental health conditions such as depression, complex trauma or ‘borderline personality’ disorder. Some research studies highlight a connection between what are called ‘adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)’ and emotional regulation difficulties.

Neurodivergence

Some people who are neurodivergent (having variations in sociability, attention, mood and thoughts such as in ADHD, Autism, etc.) might struggle with knowing how they are expected to respond to emotions or how to regulate their own emotions. This is not pathological. Neurodivergent people process emotional information differently to neurotypical people, but still feel emotions and respond to them in their own unique ways.

Building a healthy relationship with your emotions

Feel your feelings: the first step to developing a healthy relationship with your emotions is to recognise what you are feeling and to allow yourself to experience that emotion. This means noticing how your body feels at any particular moment. Are your muscles tense? Is there pain somewhere? Is there any heaviness anywhere in the body? Is there a sense of lightness, warmth or tingling? Become aware of whatever the sensation may be, without avoiding it, trying to change it or resist it. If you struggle to connect with your body, you might first consider practising yoga or body scan exercises or breathing exercises to develop an awareness of and connection with your body

Name it to tame it: once you are aware of what you are feeling, name it to yourself. ‘I am feeling XYZ’. Be sure to make the distinction between I am (the feeling) and I am feeling (the feeling). When we say ‘I am angry’ we are identifying our entire person with the emotion. When we instead use a statement such as ‘I am feeling angry’ we are creating a psychological distinction between the emotion (something transitory that is being experienced) and ourselves (something stable and enduring).

Accept the emotion: rather than resisting or judging a feeling as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’, adopt a non-judgmental attitude towards your emotions and be curious about understanding them. This might be achieved by talking it out with a trusted friend or loved one, journaling, reflection, meditation or visiting a mental health professional.

If the emotion is intense and feels overwhelming, avoid making decisions or reacting on impulse. Delay whatever action or decision you feel drawn to in the throes of overpowering emotions. Take time to first reduce the intensity of that emotion, whether through exercise, deep breathing or ‘polyvagal exercises’ (a set of exercises that activate the vagus nerve, reducing anxiety, fear and our fight-or-flight response)