Pride and humility

MANAGEMENT

An extremely thin line divides the above words as regards their meaning. The inherent nature of man is fallible. Each is vulnerable to praise; I haven’t come across any person, including own self, who has not been puffed up; when showered with praise, regardless of whether deserved or not. Even while shrugging it, to exhibit modesty, the inner person, believes it to be true recognition.

The obvious question is; do we all need to be praised? In other words, is appreciation by others, of your work and toil a necessity? Does it impact upon our psyche? And more importantly, does it lead to better productivity? The human mind bends favourably to praise, appreciation and recognition. The response of infants to praise while they struggle to walk, and then fall and then get up is a motivation that sterns from recognition. If any parent, were to admonish the infant on his frequent falls, it will most likely resonate in deformity or a very late start, to being on his own feet. So for performance, praise and appreciation is an absolute necessity.

In any work environment, the same basic principle applies. An appreciated workforce gives the best results. Any shortfall in performance must be addressed through words of encouragement rather than admonishing the colleagues. Appreciation and praise inspire positive action and results.

An essential principle followed by enlightened managers is; reprimand in private and praise in public. Regrettably many do the opposite of it, which does not strengthen team work, but only adds to creating an environment of despondency and regret. So, the time to praise is when it can be heard by other colleagues. In doing so, it is equally important to judge how much praise should be heaped upon – excess of anything, is always counter-productive. As a manager, therefore, be economical in showering praise, one doesn’t have to tip over the fence of balance – it should be well measured, both in content and length. The praise must be believable, not an exaggeration, otherwise it may swing towards flattery.

Brings me to distinguish between praise and flattery! “Praise” is the act of expressing approval or admiration, commendation, laudation or even the offering of grateful homage to colleagues on their performance. Flattery, on the other hand is a concoction of the devious mindset. It is built on the foundation of falsehood; sometimes flattery manifests itself, through the medium of excessive praise. Just as praise works, vertically, horizontally and downwardly, in the hierarchy, so does flattery. People can flatter bosses, peers and juniors. Some master the art so well, they actually can qualify to be “certified corporate flatterers”. Flattery is only skin deep, hence gets exposed with rapidity.

Praise helps in overcoming obstacles in life and work environment. It makes you feel good. It is the most helpful way of dealing with colleagues. Praise, the sincere one only, makes you spiritually stronger; helps to enlighten others; expunges negativity and ushers fullness to life. Well done; you are good; that’s a good one; excellent idea; real thought; great solution etc etc are all expressions of praise.

Some colleagues take to flattery, in their false belief that it is the shortest cut to success. A fallacy! Flattery is an “insincere praise”; therefore, many a times excessive praise is seen in that context. Since it thrives on negative connotation only, the life of ‘flattery’ and the ‘flatterer’ is always short. As managers, we remain susceptible to dishonest praise and hence fall victim to flattery. No matter, how good it sounds to your ears, avoid the company of the flatterers. Flattery is essentially a manipulative compliment to win a contract or favour from the recipient. Flattery or to be flattered is so enticingly tempting, that it takes one away on a flight from reality – you actually begin to feel you possess those abilities and potential, that are conspicuously absent.

In the Urdu language ‘Qasida’ is a genre of poetry – where praise is liberally showered to the most undeserving, usually, the ruler. The Mughal courts maintained an army of “Qasida Goh’s” (narrators of praise), who would wander in imagination to present the ruler, as the most just, kind, compassionate, honourable and kind ruler - a manager is no different – if he is as gullible as the Mughal king, and will be willing to believe, all the untruth being hurled upon him. The king would in appreciation reward such with gold coins, silver etc; the gullible manager does the same, with bonuses and increments. No harm to like being praised, but distinguish it from insincere compliments – a compliment that requires no pay-back is always almost genuine and truthful.

Workforce that lacks skill and talent rely heavily on boot-licking, as a means of furthering their careers; but to do so and be successful at it; they would need to be blessed with a willing and ably gullible supervisor / manager. “But when I tell he hates flatterers, he says, he does, being their most flattered”. (Shakespeare in Julius Caesar). Men, more than women are susceptible to accepting false praise, as truth – they believe automatically any compliment thrown at them. Managers must train themselves to merely smell flattery and not inhale it. Abhor, praise and flattery, if it is undue.

The other affliction, of all bosses, is pride. What is pride? The anti ethical meaning is – an emotion inwardly directed. An irrational value and worth of self! Humility on the other hands acts as a bulwark against pride. What exactly is the difference between pride and humility? Pride is a negative trait, unless it is completely harnessed that prompts emotions of superiority over others. Pride emerges from some unique characteristic, one may possess. It could be either positive or negative. A good looking person is proud of his looks and another could be proud of the intellect possessed. So, there has to be something outstanding, only then an attitude of pride attacks, the persona. And those, who are possessed of exceptional abilities, yet considered themselves lowly, are individuals, who are downright humble. For leadership, a tamed pride is an essential ingredient.

“Envy feels through pride”. Conceit, pride, egotism, vanity, vainglory are all reflections of a complete over-estimation of self-vanity as self-admiration; while vainglory is an inordinate and unjustified pride.

Many managers, not only liberally indulge in pride and self-praise, but are eager recipients to false compliments – they know, it is not true, yet they like to hear! When you have average looks and some silly colleague says, you resemble Robert Redford or George Clooney, you know it is based on falsehood; because the mirror couldn’t have been lying for ages.

Humility is a great trait to possess. Some may doubt its practical usage in present day environment. However, experience has shown that it is a very powerful tool, in the creation of an invisible corporate culture. “When he falls short; its nature’s fault alone; when he succeeds, the merit is all his own”. (Charles Churchill). Self-obsession prevents cultivation of modesty and humility. A love affair with the self will always remain an epic story.

Self-preservation is the first law of nature. Self-interest is the rule; self-sacrifice, the exception. In any organisation we have diversity, not in skills alone, but in emotional standards, as well. Hence a manager must ensure a fair balance of such persons in the team, for a progressive corporate culture.

The writer is a freelance columnist