Are these words or should these words be part of the current day, lingua franca in the corporate world? Perhaps many would react and suggest, banish the usage of these words, if found in any office environment in the present age of competition. Crucify in the hallway the colleague who believes in the power of civility and good behaviour. Competition spurs odd behaviour. The large subscribers of the thought of ‘lean and mean’ management are ardent opponents, to civility and etiquette standards. They mean it when they say, “we believe in lean and mean management!”
Etiquette over time is now nested and restricted in everyday meaning to the dress code you follow, the dining table manners and all the flimsy...nay etiquette is about fundamental principles of consideration, honesty, trust, and respect.
It is part of common experience that rude behaviour leads to low productivity by the staff, coupled with low employee morale and about zero growth in the quality of an organisation's human resources.
I have witnessed in various organisations that people carry on their shoulders verbal bazookas ready to fire with elimination in mind at the slightest provocation. Only the recipient knows the impact and damage a ‘daisy cutter’ boss inflicts upon his reports.
Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you, is a principle we are all familiar with, since it is a code we are indoctrinated with at school. How nice it feels to be nice to others. The pleasure it gives needs to be experienced for the manager to know what force he can unleash upon his team, for enhanced productivity. Most of Isaac Newton’s laws of motion, works outside the realm of physics too; every noble action will have an equal and opposite reaction - you get what you sow; it is usually beyond what one may deserve.
Every act of rudeness must be resisted with kindness that is civility. Even the mountain rock collapses to the persistent droplets; it ultimately just caves in. So perseverance and persistency in civil behaviour will prevail upon an environment of unkind and rude environment. It is bound to achieve over time a positive outcome.
I learnt through an article in a magazine that many decades back there was this sign on a New York city bus that carried this advice (wonder though, why the original notice has used the word “advice”), ‘doctors tell us that hating people can cause: ulcers, heart attacks, headaches, skin rashes and asthma. It doesn’t make the people you hate feel good too either.’ Civility buries emotions of hate, guilt and anger. Just as negative attitude gives rise to irrational behaviour so does civility in contrast gives impetus to acts of kindness.
Civility does not require herculean effort. It is simply done by simple acts. It is only civil to rise from your high back chair when you receive guests. It is abject incivility to hold out a handshake with no eye contact with the guest. I have seen and also am guilty of doing so while peering on the papers at the desk. It is also part of good etiquette and manners to see off the guest at the exit and not to wave a goodbye from your desk. In-built civility bursts through the skin and the glow it puts on the face is always seductive for the fire of competition or resistance, for its enticing spirit, douses it fully and completely.
“To make a pleasant and friendly impression is not only good manners but equally good business,” (Emily Post). Lest we forget how does a manager view his staff? As great potential for high performance or more of as ‘problems’; as possessing quality or as afflicted with weakness; as dull and unimaginative or full of zest to enhance abilities. A civil and good mannered approach will fizzle out the negative tendencies in a team. Civility breakdowns all limitations. It is that trait when employed naturally transcends you into a different orbit of life. The thought process allows you to relate on the plane of civility. You express through gestures, facial expression, glitter and gleam of the eyes or even the tone of your voice, will determine, if you are considered civil or not.
Dianna Damron, an expert in corporate communication too, says there are these C’s that will determine the quality of human that you are: communication, character and civility. Explaining further she says, “We communicate our character by exercising our civility.”
Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone displays his own image (Goethe). Civility is best understood from a quote attributed to Hazrat Ali Ibne Abi Talib (RA), “A man’s behaviour is the index of man and his discourse is the index of his understanding.” A recognised degree is inadequate, insufficient and may I say, misleading for considering anybody to be literate and educated; it is the behaviour that emanates from better understanding of the standards of civility and etiquettes.
Religious inclinations are a major source of inculcation and imbibing of civil behaviour that is backed by visible etiquettes practised. Divinity always, you would find upon deeper examination of life, conspires with the civil man, possessed of good etiquette and manners, to give him much higher attainments in life.
Civility at workplace that you naturally exhibit is the best price you pay towards the nobility of your upbringing, by your parents. Before going into mood swings and spins; rethink what homage are your paying to your parentage.
The writer is a senior banker and freelance columnist
