COMMENT
Perhaps in today’s world of media and internet there is no such thing as ‘personal’. What one may consider as ‘personal’ is most likely to be in the domain of public knowledge. The media intrusion into the personal lives of public figures and celebrities is a case in point. Is it possible to distinguish and make distinct personal life from life in general? I believe there can be a recognised separation. Seldom do individuals realise that they have a twofold set of responsibilities, one that comes with the office being held, the job or occupation and the other where there is obligation towards (your) family. A moderate balance in allocation of time between the two is well discerned by those who have the art of not mixing up the two set of responsibilities. There shouldn’t be preference towards one set of responsibility and obligation against the other.
The pressures at work require that an individual should as a matter of right and not as a sign of weakness, demand and stand for personal space. Many people ignore their families by fooling themselves with ‘demands of destiny.’ No man becomes a hen-pecked husband, if he allocates time for his better half and children; and no woman who demands for personal attention becomes a despot either.
In the present climate of stiff competition, it is absolutely necessary to lower the defences; throw in the towel; not too frequently though but at well-spaced intervals to ensure reinvigoration of both mental and physical health. In doing so, let not any thought of indispensability beguile you. Remember if you take off from work, no business would shut down – no! the sun will still rise and the moon will still shine, and the stars wouldn’t lose their radiance. So set aside time for family.
Always keep in mind to measure the distance from the board room to the nearest hospital or even the cemetery. The only thing amassment of material wealth does is that it makes men worry more about losing it. The stream of time glides smoothly on and is past before we know (Amores Ovid). Remember, it will be heart wrenching if you discover your children when they are in their teens and god forbid if you do or are already into that category; you can be a stranger and anything else except a parent.
Recall, did you, when you started your career, make a vow, ‘till death do us apart’. Don’t imagine you will be mourned at the work place if you die. Consider yourself lucky if people who you met and cared for at the cost of family time to be present at the funeral service. Will an obituary in the in-house newsletter that says, Mr XYZ would have easily gone down in the Guinness book of World Records for his 2 minutes and 10 second lunch break…he during that ‘long’ pause from work would ponder on his next move…he never had a dull moment and his environment conspired to make it so… the pit that he lies in must be boring him to death.’ Will this be of any solace, comfort or wellbeing to the family! Everybody cheats on personal time and life- the manual labourer, the service industry workers, the hard core entrepreneur, the self-employed… invariably all postpone their personal endeavours and pursuits.
They indulge in self-deception. Hard work or long hours are not synonymous with commitment to the organisation. Never fool yourself or the boss who himself by staying late is fooling by neglecting his family life. It is the quality of output that matters not the quantum. Working late and working on holidays is a clear reflection of bad time management and a serious lack of ability to prioritise life and its varying demands.
As leaders, managers, supervisors we have a responsibility to not only prioritise what we want from life but also help colleagues to do so. It is important to escape from routine every now and then. Escapades are healthy, only if it isn’t from responsibility. A friend of mine who is holidaying in the northern areas looked at the mountain range, the high and low of the summits, and involuntarily remarked “holiday is no use, even the mountain ranges remind of graphic multimedia presentations of budget versus achievement!”
To help and break the monotony of work life, I am rewriting Dr Sidney L Sands, suggestions and tips to create the healthiest work-life balance: Avoid status seeking activities, don’t seek the spotlight. The function of leisure ceases to be leisure but status. Allocate time and spend to think. Calm down. Relax. Reflect. Recharge.
• Have communication with those who wouldn’t talk about the work place.
• Lower the noise level in your life. Stillness of sound is serene.
• Avoid enslavement to any objective.
• Enjoy the moment and keep attitude in check.
• Indulge in reading wide variety of subjects.
• Recognise the rhythm of your body clock. Sleep those hours that keep you wake up relaxed not fatigued; long hours of sleep for some increase lethargy.
Successful people are those who have excellent family life and a satisfying career. Any imbalance can be disastrous. Get close to your spouse and children; make an effort to worship together, sit together and eat together. Offspring will remember not the amount of money you gave for the tuck shop or the amassed wealth that you leave behind; what they would recall and narrate is the small talk you may have had with them while driving them to school. These conversations last longer than any dollars and cents. Strive for the career. Do not neglect family, personal interests and pursuits.
The writer is a senior banker and freelance columnist