Corporate condolences

Perhaps, you decided to read this article, because the caption indicates, it is a piece about the end and demise of corporate failures. No. It is not about laying to rest dead organisations. This write-up shall deal with obituaries, announced by the Human Resources Division, the most sensitive department of the organisation, about the most emotionally explosive subject, the death, of either a staff member or any of his/ her relatives. The term relative is relative in context too, the most distant relationship has the potential to become the closest, depending upon, to whom, the deceased was related to. In subsequent paragraphs, the meaning of this will become more evident.

Death is awesome in its finality. Those who remain behind as survivors go through emotional devastation. Death is irreversible and irrevocable. That itself jolts the living out of their wits. To the grieving family, the passing away of a member is, but the placement of the dead in the memory of the living. All die once, but they do so for very long. Life is valued, more so, because, death is always lurking and flirting, with the living. Death starts to walk towards us, as soon as we are born; sometimes it rushes in with speed, and sometimes, it drags. In spite of the certainty of death, and despite the timing of it being the most uncertain, mankind hasn’t learned the art of dealing with death. There is no formula. It just happens.

Once it happens, the Human Resources Division springs into action, not to assist, but to announce. The circular is ever ready, only the names and related details are changed; it is very likely that the obituary announcement could have been drafted a few decades back or copied from some organisation. In short, it is devoid of any feelings or sentiments. The recipients and the readers remain largely unmoved. If it is about a staff member and carries still the same remark that may have been abusively used in the past for someone else too, then, you have to remind yourself of that beautiful passage authored by Brian Clough, “Don’t send me flowers when I am dead. If you like me, send when I am alive”. HR Division must paste this quote on their walls!

“The Boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends and when the other begins?”. This is extremely philosophical, drawing the distinction between temporal life and life in eternity. This article is about, Death. It is about how Employers, managers, or Supervisors treat the death of a colleague or any of their loved ones. Period.

Since the dead cannot plead their case for human justice towards their families, the living must consciously take it upon themselves to do that. This is supposed to be a normal human response bestowed upon mankind by Divinity. It is about reaching out to the family to understand the outstanding obligations and liabilities; and thence to find ways and means to have them settled. Words of comfort must serve as additional comfort and not the only comfort; economic and financial support is more important than mere words.

Bereavement suffered by an employee requires sensitive handling. The employee must be conveyed condolences with a genuine sense of compassion. The bereaved person may not necessarily come forward seeking emotional assistance, in fact, invariably, most tend to isolate themselves and begin to live in a cocoon of their own. The least expectation of such an individual would be that his/her supervisor would visit his desk and lend words of solace, comfort, and empathy. Those supervisors who do routinely, with no sensitivity or emotions, attend to their words, get exposed much sooner than their expectations; hence they tend to lose respect within the team.

Condolences are part of culture. It is also a duty and obligation in many religions. How it is expressed; tenderly with feelings of sympathy, is also an issue of norms, mores, customs, and traditions. The common expressions are: “I am sorry for your loss”; ‘May God give you strength to bear the loss”; “Thinking of you at this difficult time”, etc. Condolences must be authentic and genuine.

I recall, a senior executive colleague, in an organisation that I once worked for, mentioned to me, that he was extremely disappointed that the” Boss”, did not even care to offer condolences on the passing away of his beloved mother. To rub salt into his fresh wounds, a few weeks later, he bumped into the Boss in the corridor leading to the restrooms — that’s where, the Boss said, “Hey! Sorry to have heard the tragic news about your mother... (no pause taken), “O’ Yeah, by the way, what happened to the Quarterly results — hope those are ready and are on track of projected growth.”

Listening to this woeful tale, I was reminded of a related incident, involving Mr. Mushtaq Ahmed Yusufi, the banker, humorist, and satirist all rolled into one. A friend of my friend insisted upon him to take him to Mr. Yusufi’s residence, for two reasons; first, as an admirer of his writings he wanted to pay respect, and secondly; offer condolences on the recent passing away of his wife. With great consternation, Mr. Yusufi agreed to see him. Upon arrival and once settled in the living room, he rehearsed the opening lines, he would make to Yusufi sb... he chose, to offer condolences first, and then, he thought, he would convey his appreciation and admiration for Yusufi’s satire, humor, and other writings.

To the inner delight, but apparent chagrin of my friend, the dialogue that ensued was something like this: Friend: “Sir, very sad and sorry about the going away of Mrs. Yusufi”. Mr. Yusufi: “Why? , Why are you sad and sorrowful?”. The friend, perplexed and confused, mumbled again, “Sir, it is tragic to lose a companion “. Yusufi: “Yes, but why are you sorry? Did you know her? Did you ever meet her?, with a stare, he kept quiet, for a milli second. Sheepishly, the friend said, “No”. Mr. Yusufi continued, “So you are sorry... no, you have come to blatantly lie to me; no, you are not sorry. You don’t mean what you are saying. You are wasting your time and significantly my precious time”. He, the friend got no chance to appreciate!!! I am certain, the friend would have invoked all prayers for the earth to open up its chest to swallow him off! To reiterate, if the supervisor cannot add genuine sympathy, empathy, sincerity, and sensitivity to the expression of words, silence, is the best option, to offer condolences.

In my opinion, every organisation must have a minimum of two documented policies; one relating to how to deal with a colleague who suffers bereavement and secondly; a policy that enunciates and deals with the passing away of the employee. Let me illustrate by way of personal experience of the later. The HR Chief brought to me a settlement form/memorandum, giving details of the terminal benefits, of a deceased employee. From the total sum of terminal benefits, inclusive of Provident fund, Gratuity fund, leave encashment, etc., I noticed several items of deductions like, Loans outstanding, personal, car, and mortgage, all listed separately, and the residual balance payable was negligible amount. Being aware that the deceased senior colleague was proud to be father of three young girls (teenagers), I asked, ‘So how does the family survive on this amount?” The HR chief was blank. I said, “leave the papers with me”.

Alongside the ever-supportive senior management, we presented a paper/proposal to the Board of Directors, spelling out very clearly, that without having to spend a fortune, we plan to do the following arrangement with an Insurance Company: {a} Staff loans of all types to be fully insured; {b}, with life insurance cover add a riding clause of a five-year salary continuation policy, for any employee, who dies in office, and is below the age of sixty years. Without a whimper, the board, which comprised mostly overseas nationals, promptly approved it. Later in life, when I moved to another financial institution, the board was generous in approving both such policies for the staff. The family-owned institution showed no resistance, but in fact encouraged its promulgation. The attrition dropped by a good 8 percent. A practical step to handle bereavement and death was taken.

The death of a colleague is handled differently by different people. Regrettably, the attendance at the funeral service is directly proportional to the rank and designation of the departing employee. To make matters worse, emotionally, if the deceased happens to be even a ‘distant relative’ of the Chairman, CEO, or any senior management, there would be in attendance, all and sundry, not pay homage to the dead, but to be seen and counted upon, by the seniors or heirs/survivors. If a junior employee in rank or his/her relative dies, a generous HR issues a circular, but no advertisement is placed. But if the president/ CEO, chairman, and senior management’s close or distant employee passes away, then not only there is full attendance at the service, but even full-page advertisements are issued. That’s life. Once a full-page advertisement of an obituary was published in multiple newspapers, regarding the death of the father of a known politician. There was no business relationship. The advertisement was criticised because it was pretty obvious that it was meant to please and tickle the ego of this son politician.

These obituaries aren’t meant to convey any sympathies (just as Yuufi sahib says, a pack of lies), these announcements are meant to be called “Corporate Condolences” ... O’ you bard, William Shakespeare, you wrote this bitter truth six hundred years back, in Hamlet, “The King is dead. Long live the King”. This phrase emerged upon the coronation of Charles VII upon the throne of France in 1422. Anonymously someone added, “Every dog has its day”.

This cliche is now used in corporate corridors.

– The writer is a senior banker and a freelance columnist.