Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.
Hitting the bulls-eye
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.
First bull: “I’ve been here for five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows.”
Second bull: “I’ve been here for three years and I have earned my right to 50 cows. I’m keeping all of my cows.”
Third bull: “I’ve only been here for a year and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I’m keeping all 10 of my cows.”
Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they’ve ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.
First bull: “I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend.” Second bull: “I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few, and I’m certainly not looking for an argument.” They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.
First bull: “Son, don’t be foolish. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”
Third bull: “Hell, he can have all of my cows! I’m just making sure he knows I’m a bull.”
The life of an investor
A frightened investor goes to his financial planner and asks if he’s at all worried about the volatility of the markets these days. The planner replies that he sure does!
In fact, he says that he sleeps like a baby. The frightened investor was amazed! “Really? Even with all the fluctuations?”
“Yep! I sleep for a couple of hours, and then I wake up and cry for a couple of hours.”
Don’t try this!
A 15-year-old village boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, “What is this father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”
