None, professional or otherwise, can claim to have lived all his/her work years, in the glow of full sunshine. All of us experience, day in and day out, sometimes only for moments or in extreme cases, for years, when the sunshine hides behind very dark clouds. These clouds cause many of us to become despondent; and we conveniently despite being taught at school, forget that every cloud has a silver lining. The Sun has to rise from behind the clouds that is Nature’s design.
None, professional or otherwise, can claim to have lived all his/her work years, in the glow of full sunshine. All of us experience, day in and day out, sometimes only for moments or in extreme cases, for years, when the sunshine hides behind very dark clouds. These clouds cause many of us to become despondent; and we conveniently despite being taught at school, forget that every cloud has a silver lining. The Sun has to rise from behind the clouds that is Nature’s design.
Feeling low at work stations is not unusual. Everyone goes through such periods. The reasons for getting into this stage and state of mind can be many, and each can be distinct and diverse.
Last night, a colleague of yester years ( we worked together closely at an organisation) sent me a WhatsApp message at 1:30Am — the wee hours of the morning had already begun! The ringtone alerted me, while I was engrossed reading a book. My normal reaction to messages received beyond 11pm is to essentially ignore them — but occasionally curiosity gets the better of me and this morning was no different. I opened the message and it read: “Sir, Hope you are well. Felt the need to share my feelings. My life has become aimless after you decided to move and join another institution. I am not satisfied at working without your guidance. I feel imprisoned. Working alongside you made me view my job more as a romance. But now I have to drag myself out of bed to head to the office. The natural enthusiasm is missing. Life seems stagnant. Unable to concentrate on assignments. I am unhappy. The fabric of my life is in tatters. There is no joy, smile, excitement or aim. Life has become mechanical. I am aware of my sensitive nature, but cannot overcome its influence. I make good money. I have a loving family and living in my own house, yet I am falling apart. There is nothing new to learn or get me intellectually challenged. Thanks for giving me affection and encouragement. I need your prayers. Sorry for this long message”.
It is in my view, the immediate and most significant responsibility of the manager/leader to not only create business opportunities but also to induce the sprouting of an environment, in which colleagues are inspired and motivated to wholesomely participate, in creating more business opportunities. The involvement to do things, which is a runaway from the usual and mundane, is the most exciting tool for getting colleagues to go beyond and perform beyond the call of the job description (JD).
To the colleague, I responded immediately in the following manner: “My dear, young professional, you must always keep in mind that, while progressing in life, you will find new partners and supervisor, who can be very different from each other; they may take interest in you or may choose to either ignore or be indifferent. In such changed circumstances you must develop the tenacity to bear which otherwise may be intolerable. I am not suggesting to acquiescence or surrender to undue pressures. You must look at the changed conditions with hope for betterment. Enjoy your job, and express gratitude to the Supreme Being, for being blessed, there are many who want your assignment; count your blessings, not sink in self-doubting apprehensions. You have a great career ahead; I have seen your quality of output, which was always on the fringes of excellence ... you will do well. God Willing. Best Wishes”.
It is the responsibility of the leader/management to identify staff amongst their team members who could be listing on the waves and be feeling low; here they need to be given assistance by way of making available to them the opportunity and time to meet and allow them to speak their mind. In many cases, my experience has been that mere patient ‘listening’ takes away the problem by atleast 90 percent, if not entirely. Managers must lend their ears for motivation and not for listening to gibberish gossip.
Since, each of us spends considerable portion of the day at the workplace it is but natural to get accustomed to both the (physical space) and the people. An emotional attachment develops with people around you. Those possessed with a large dosage of sensitivity in their personalities find it a tad more difficult to adjust, should they be transferred to another office or should their supervisor or colleague is moved out. I personally experienced this emotional dilemma, when my dear colleague and friend Pramesh Krishnaeir was moved to the New York office from Hong Kong. Following his departure I just did not have the will or the feel to go to the office — his absence was starting to tell upon my health. Then other friends and myself, we conjured and conspired to spend more time with one another; it was only after several weeks of focused attention towards creating the belief, that we are best placed than many others, that I overcame this impasse in enthusiasm at work and the loss of zest in my life. In his essay, ‘the conquest of happiness’, Bertrand Russel says, ‘to be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.”
The ideal way to handle this feeling of being down or under a cloud, is to accept the change, without trying or wanting to change. Just as, we cannot control everything around us; it is not possible to change the course of the river of time; it is not within our control not to be seized by emotions and by this virtue alone, we begin to accept things as they present themselves. No cloud in the sky stays forever, and so does no rainbows remains on the horizon of our existence, it is also normally short lived.
Set back and failures mostly are stair cases delivered before us that must be used to climb up for a better future. Losing hope means losing the will to endeavour. The pursuit to remain free of anxieties at work place is not an activity that should be just undertaken once in a while but it must be on a regular basis. It is best done, frequently, to avoid recurrence.
If anxieties are allowed to permeate themselves into our spirit and soul, then they tend to get so much more internalized, that we start to make those anxieties as part of our persona. The whispering mind is not always on the right side of truth and reality. Our perceptions about people, events or occasions get colored by our negative feelings which unfortunately then result in chaotic and untempered responses. In a situation where there is no control over the way we respond to emerging change in the dynamics at the work place, it is only then consequential that there will be disparities created in the relationships we enjoy with other colleagues.
Despair must be met with stillness of emotions. The internal positivity must be enforced to dominate the external negative forces. To expunge feelings that conflict with your internal makeup, it is necessary to germinate through effective effort, the emergence of fresh and new feelings of calm, joy and happiness. Spirituality demands that we must self-examine ourselves instead of being judgmental about external factors.
Stevie Smith’s poem, ‘Not waving but drowning’, aptly describes this feeling, ‘I was much further out than you thought, and not waving but drowning’. The downtime of our mood, must remain within the confines of a maximum of 24 hours; allowing it to brew beyond will ignite it further, rendering the emotions to conflagration, and hence into an inferno.
It is the responsibility of the leader/management to identify staff amongst their team members who could be listing on the waves and be feeling low; here they need to be given assistance by way of making available to them the opportunity and time to meet and allow them to speak their mind. In many cases, my experience has been that mere patient ‘listening’ takes away the problem by at-least 90 percent, if not entirely. Managers must lend their ears for motivation and not for listening to gibberish gossip.
When next you feel down, reflect on your blessings. You will end up feeling good and enthusiastic.
– The writer is a senior banker and a freelance columnist.
