COMMENT
‘Decency’ is a sense of what may be fitly expected of one. It is a virtue that is universally expected to be found in all those who possess dignity. ‘Dignity’ is the state of being dignified, implying elevation of mind and character. Both these words represent modesty, moderation and becomingness. Yet, decency and dignity in their truest, least euphemistic form remain a rarity and an enigma. Unfortunately, decency is an alien word not only to our corporate corridors but to our nation as a whole. We stand guilty of being indecent in every facet of life.
Decency is the quality of both the heart and the mind. It denotes purity of thought, emotion and content. Decency is the presence of grace and poise that baits others. It means receiving or encountering even disgraceful news or events with grace. Having established context of the subject under discussion, it can be said that it is quite usual to experience indecency in every facet of life today.
In our present day environment, rudeness has become a way of life. We seem to have become too busy to remain courteous and polite. We send and receive official letters, memos and other corporate communiqués with no names of addressees, and ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are conspicuous only in their absence! It is considered (albeit wrongfully) to be highly professional if pre-emptory remarks of appreciation or gratitude are expunged from conversations and communications. Schedulers of meetings do not consider it to be an aspect of politeness to inform of any re-schedule. The attendees are simply left to discover at their own inconvenience and pain.
How often do we witness a bad reaction to unfavourable news? Invariably, every day. Most supervisors react to unexpected or unfavourable news like a (literal, not proverbial) nuclear bomb has been dropped on their desks. You will find them yelling, shouting and thumping the table; they will leave their comfortable high-backed chairs and walk up and down their cabins. The sight is akin to a hungry lion pacing his den. It is funny that the Darwinian man, though well behaved, is only monkey slaved, at best.
Colleagues and clients alike indulging in verbal assault are a common sight witnessed daily on the shop floor. In such situations, the predominant senior considers it his birth-right to enhance the decibel levels of his tone. I have personally witnessed comic instances where indecent demeanour and unbecomingness renders the character a monster with a froth-full mouth. Expletives are used in conversations and lingua franca is blindly accepted in organisations. The expletives are said in such fluency that neither the utterer nor the addressee realise what has happened, and therefore the bystanders are left in wonder of who they were used for in the first place! I believe such individuals deserve both sympathy and (to a lesser extent) empathy.
Being decent and dignified does not mean that one becomes a corporate doormat and neither does it have to translate into being meek. Belligerent behaviour can be deflected in a civilised manner, disagreement of viewpoint can be expressed without hurting others’ feelings and a hostile colleague/customer can be calmed down and engaged in a logical discourse instead. Shouting louder does not ensure that you will be heard; in fact, and on the contrary, the louder pitch of voice often drowns out any sense in your argument. And here comes the most misunderstood of all nouns: argument implies presenting one's rationale. It is almost always understood and implemented in a negative connation, and clubbed in the same league as a ‘contest/fight’.
Corporates get the people that they deserve. The virtuous state of human mind remains decent against torrents of provocations. Disagreements and potential conflicts can be avoided with decent responses. Decency takes many forms and manifestations. It gets adequately pronounced through dress, demeanour, language and the choice of words, gaze, exchange of looks, sitting cross legged before older colleagues or the opposite gender. Conversely, arrogance in style, conversation and behaviour represent what Milton called ‘the last infirmity of a noble mind.’
Once upon a time, decency and politics were happily married. It is unfortunate that this union did not last long. Pakistani politics provide a fear-inducing case study on this topic. The post-divorce age features ‘talk shows’ that host slandering politicians who are encouraged into getting rowdier and crasser by bemused anchors (or should we say ‘provokers’?). Politics and media are the new couple and entertainment content/higher ratings are the offspring of their union on prime time. Poor decency lays forgotten in the new fam-jam.
Abraham Lincoln had such deep seated revulsion for slavery that it left him without any moral indignation. Whipping, or alternatively hatred, against slaves meant malice to him. He wrote, ‘I shall do nothing in malice. What I deal with is too vast for malicious dealing.’ Towards the end of the civil war, to a question of how ‘southerners’ would be treated, Lincoln remarked, ‘as if they never went to war.’ Upon conquest of Mecca, what did our Holy Prophet (PBUH) do? He granted general amnesty. Who is a better follower of our prophet (PBUH)? Me, you or Lincoln?
To remain decent when commanding, be it in the corporate world or the battle field, is not easy. But it is not impossible. In his book, ‘Years Of Victory,’ Sir Arthur Bryant describes Lord Nelson, the man who commanded waves, in the following words, ‘Nelson was essentially a humanitarian, who, wooing men to duty, trusted them and had the imagination to see into their hearts. By his reckoning, the best disciplinarian was he who most loved and understood men, who remembered that they were human beings and treated them accordingly.’
Civility is crucial to business and success. Genuine decency and politeness is as necessary for success as hard work and industry is. ‘Give a boy address and accomplishments, and you give him the mastery of palaces and fortunes wherever he goes; he has not the trouble of earning or owning them; they solicit him to enter and possess.’
General Robert Lee, who stood against Lincoln’s forces, was combative to the hilt but decent to the core. If he had to censure a subordinate, he took care never to hurt his amour propre. Never was he harsh in conversation. He said, “When a man makes a mistake, I call him to my tent and use the authority of my position to make him do the right thing next time.”
If you are decent to your own staff, there is no reason why the environment will not be decent to you. If you want to be not only permanently successful, but personally happy too, then do your job in a way that puts lights in people’s faces. Do that job in such a way that even when you are out of sight, folks will always know which way you went by the lamps left behind. (Kenneth McFarland).
If victory is a destination, start the journey now with decency and dignity.
The writer is a senior banker and freelance columnis
