Being professional
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking towards the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?”
“Yes,” the golfer responded.
“Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?”
“Yes, I did. How did you know?” he asked.
“Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out
onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?” The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... “I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”
A wise call
A masked man walked into a bank and held it up at gunpoint to rob the bank. In the process of robbing the bank, his mask fell off. He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her. He then turned to the teller who was beside the one he just killed, and asked if she had also seen his face. She said that she did, so he shot and killed her, too. He then turned to a man, a customer who happened to be in the bank when the robbery was taking place. The robber asked the customer if he had seen his face. The customer replied, “No, but I’m pretty sure my wife did.”
Living in the 21st century
TECH: “Hello, Friendly Internet. How may I help you?”
CUSTOMER: “Oh, hello young man! I was wondering if you offer online banking?”
TECH: “We’re an Internet Service Provider, ma’am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.” CUSTOMER: “What do I need to do that?”
TECH: “You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Then sign up for an account and sign up for online banking with your bank.”
CUSTOMER: “But where does the money come out?”
TECH: “I’m not sure I understand?”
CUSTOMER: “You know...Does the money come out of that slot on the computer?”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed
