I fall in love again and again
Dear Guru,
I am an 18-year-old girl and I study in second year in a prestigious college. Guru, when I was in school, I was once cheated by a boy. My family came to know about him, but they forgave me as I was very young. From then onwards, I have maintained a distance with every single boy. Fast forward to present when I joined college; over there, many boys showed an interest in me, but I never responded to any one. Then, somehow, I got involved with a very charming boy. Soon, we developed a strong bond but then again I broke up with him and again my family discovered our clandestine affair. They got very angry and this time they became very strict with me. After that I promised myself that I would never trust anyone anymore.
Now, recently I have developed feelings for another chap. I just talk to him but I know I will fall in love with him soon as he is so adorable. Guru, I don’t want to hurt my family, but I cannot help becoming close to him. My father does not allow me to use the internet, but I use it secretly. Guru, I know whatever I am doing is not right, and I also want to leave him, but I can’t stop myself from talking to him. What should I do?
Badly Trapped Girl
Dear Badly Trapped Girl,
It’s quite natural for teenagers to get attracted to the opposite gender, but the way you are behaving is not right. You are only 18 and this is your third major crush. Girl, it is time for some serious thinking. You have already broken your family’s trust twice and again you are about to repeat the same mistake. You are in your crucial years of studies and, even if it sounds clichéd, you have to concentrate on your studies, which should be your primary focus. My dear, try to control your emotions and think sensibly. I know it won’t be easy for you to cut ties with that boy but then if your family comes to know about your third affair then it will be very difficult for you to earn their trust again. I advise you to stop talking to that boy altogether before your father catches you again. You have your whole life ahead of you; don’t spoil your reputation in front of your family with your own hands. Good luck!
Should I leave my friend?
Salaam Guru,
I am a 15-year-old girl and I am one of your regular readers. Here I am with my problem. If you remember, I wrote to you earlier in which I mentioned that I had a crush on my best friend. You told me to enjoy my little imaginary romance and I was satisfied. But, now, I am in doldrums again. My best friend has recently told me that he has a crush on his friend and this revelation has broken my heart. I am so upset. Now, there are no chances of me making a place in his heart. Since then I have been avoiding him. My best friend is after my life because I am behaving in a strange manner, as he is clueless of my feelings. Guru, I love my self-respect and I am afraid of his reaction if he comes to know how I feel about him. I am seriously thinking of breaking up with him. Please tell me what I should do. Should I reveal my feelings or should I leave without telling him anything?
Troubled Aquarius
Dear Troubled Aquarius,
Thanks for reading my column regularly and thanks for trusting me one more time. Dear, you are only 15 and it is a very delicate age. You should not feel dejected. At your age, it’s okay to have crushes and crushes are meant to fade away. You are feeling the pain right now but soon you will be fine. Your best friend has a crush on his friend and he has confessed it in front of you as you are his confidant. If you look at it, your best friend is also not having an affair; he just has feelings for her, like you have feelings for him. So, both of you are in the same boat more or less. Who knows, your best friend might be able to get what he wants! There is no point leaving him at this point. Right now, he needs your support more than ever as he is your buddy and you don’t make friends everyday. I know you are a brave girl and you can face the situation boldly. So, come out of that sorry state of mind and start behaving normally. Soon, you will feel a positive change in your life. Good luck!
