James Safechuck reveals dark truth about life with Michael Jackson

James Safechuck, American man who drew attention for his allegations against pop legend Michael Jackson, has recently pulled back the curtain on his "painful journey," sharing a glimpse into his emotional struggles he endured.

The 47-year-old, who said that he was abused by the late icon at the age of 10, stayed in close contact with Michael even after the alleged abuse stopped.

However, long after their bond faded, he continued to struggle with the lasting impact of what had happened.

He shared with Times newspaper: “I think a part of me died. You are dead inside."

"You go numb — you don’t learn how to process events, good or bad. The self-hatred was really intense, but you don’t know why you hate yourself. I know now that it’s because instead of hating Michael, I hated myself," he added.

In his 20s, James used drugs like cocaine, marijuana, and painkillers to numb the chaos while playing in a band. But when he landed a tech job, he kicked the habit, only to find himself facing a different kind of battle.

James went on saying: “When the drugs went away, though, then the pain started. I was hit with everything that had been masked and I was really struggling. You don’t know why you’re in so much pain; you don’t connect the abuse to the pain that you’re in at the moment.”

James, dad to three kids, said becoming a parent shifted his perspective on the abuse and led to a breakdown.