parenting
Remember the time more than a decade back, when a foreign show ‘Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai’, was broadcasted. The show was about the battle of a snob mother-in-law with her ‘middle-class’ daughter-in-law. Clad in a designer chiffon sari, Maya Sarabhai - the sophisticated mother-in-law - never shied away from pin-pointing the middle-class habits of her daughter-in-law. Those middle-class habits, however, were nothing less than availing discount deals at shopping malls, not going to overly-charged restaurant for a birthday dinner and so on. Although the character was a mockery of the so-called high-class elite, it is unfortunate that at present, multitudinous Maya Sarabhais are wandering on the roads of metropolitans; fixing their hair in the rear view mirror of their Audis and rolling their eyes on anyone who is wearing a volume-old kurti.
Fast forwarded to ten years and welcome mini-Mayas. iWatches on wrist, thousands in the sleek debit card resting in their pockets, and latest Android-powered smartphones in hand - hello to the children of the Generation Z. These children are the next in line to inherit the economy of the world but, are we giving proper training to such children so that they can sensibly use money? The answer is an absolute no. This generation is familiar with the word, ‘spending’ but doesn’t know what saving is. They have not seen recession or economic crux and therefore haven’t seen the struggling times of the economy. For them, the biggest success is to get the latest iPhone right after its launch. Their summers are spent in the island of Bahamas and they get Toyotas on their sweet sixteen.
*This materialistic approach has added a snobbish trait to their personality. They use condescending tone with those who are a little below the line of elitist. For them, ‘middle-class’ is a taboo - something that should be avoided like a plague. Spend five minutes with these narcissists and start questioning your self-worth. This is not to say that spoilt children never existed before. They did but they didn’t have a platform to show their inner characteristic to the whole world. Now, the spoilt children use social networking sites to show what an embarrassment they really are. Their complaints are appalling and atrocious. For instance, they don’t like the fact that their father sent a smaller car to pick them up from school just because their Mercedes was sent for service. Or, the summer vacation was ruined because they had to share a hotel room with their parents in Florida.
What they need the most is family time with parents where the parents explain them in detail how hectic and exhausting it is to set out to work every day and earn a handsome amount of money by the end of the month. Sadly, parents don’t consider having such talks.
Why don’t parents talk about money?
Pakistani households are not familiar with the term, ‘financial talks’. A lot of parents tend to avoid bringing up the topic relating to money in front of their children. Money talks are strictly unwelcomed in households. Therefore, children start taking their parents’ hard-earned money for granted and gradually drift away from realising its value.
What parents fear the most is the fact that their ‘no’ might make their children feel as if they are unwanted. Parents want to sustain the image of the provider of family. They don’t want to let the children feel that their parents will have trouble in fulfilling their wishes - after all, that’s what parents are for. There is a dire need for parents to make children understand the value of money; how it is earned and why it should be consumed sensibly.
Parents of these children might be spending hundreds of thousands on their education. They might be swapping their credit cards at every point of sale to buy anything their children wish for; but in an attempt to make their children happy, they are ignoring an important aspect of their children’s personality - humbleness. In fact, parents have to be watchful of their behaviour in front of children. After all, children not only learn from their parents but try to copy them. They feel proud in being a mirror-image of their parents. It is the duty of parents to ensure that children are not putting ‘social-status’ over civilised manners.
The case of social status
Class system has been an integral part of every society. The elite have always had the privilege of enjoying the best of everything. The working class makes enough money to meet their expenses while the poor are unable to make their ends meet. A distinguishing character of the past and present is that previously children didn’t have a platform to boast about their life. Now, everything ought to be posted on social networking sites. Naturally, for putting up a picture of an event on the internet, the event has to be perfect and flawless. Therefore, birthdays are not limited to buying a 2-pound cake and blowing out candles but, it has been turned into a surprise party with friends at a high-end restaurant with a meal which costs more than the telephone bill. All for likes and comments!
Is this the way to spend parents’ hard-earned money? Shouldn’t parents draw a line and tell their children how much should they spend? There is nothing wrong in spending huge amounts of money on entertainment, food, clothing, or vacations but spending money for having a pointless impression on friends is equivalent to devaluing money.
Similarly, parents have completely forgotten to teach their children to talk politely with nannies and other servants. Children pick up whatever their parents leave behind. They adopt the same tone as their parents’ while talking to home servants. They treat them as if they own them. Servants double their ages are ridiculed and teased for having a poor financial background. Back in the good old days, the biggest gift of parents was good moral values. Children were taught to be humble and polite. House servants were given due respect. However, at present, the situation is completely the opposite and it is alarming. These kids are the future of the country. Money comes and goes but good values remain with children till the end of time.