COMIC RELIEF
* Ryan Reynolds (VancityReynolds): Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
* Katy Perry (katyperry): MOTHERS ARE THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS ON THE PLANET
* Kevin Durant(KDTrey5): I’m watching the History channel in the club and I’m wondering how do these people kno what’s goin on on the sun..ain’t nobody ever been
* Cher (cher): I blocked someone’s DAD !?!
Who was it?
Laugh lines
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
“It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said.
“Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.”
The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?”
“Yes, indeed,” said his guide. “He wrote a check.”
One day the phone rang at a law office and when the receptionist answered a man asked to speak to Mr. Dewey. “I’m sorry, sir,” the receptionist said. “Mr. Dewey passed away yesterday.” “Oh, is that right? Goodbye.” But every day for the next two weeks the same man called back and the same exchange occurred. Finally, the receptionist said, “Sir, I have told you repeatedly that Mr. Dewey died, why do you keep calling and asking for him?” “Oh,” the man replied, “I just like to hear it.”